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Anonymous Client of YWCA Safe Haven
"I struggled in school as a teenager. I had low self-esteem, no confidence. I gave up on myself at a very young age. I ran away from home at 14," says Tanya*. "I was running towards acceptance and I thought I had found it with a pimp who turned me on to prostitution. It was that or sleep one more night in the stairwell. I had to survive."
"I remember my first trick. He had mirrors on the wall and ceiling. My most vivid memory was watching this man abuse me." Tanya says she quickly became desensitized to the abuse and life as a prostitute, but after 6 years realized that her next alternative might be death.
"I had to pull all my inner strength and hold onto one fraction of hope to get me out of this lifestyle," remembers Tanya. She sought help from the community and the community pulled through for her.
Marsha Ellen Meidow, Counsellor, YWCA Safe Haven
"Do I want to live or die?" Marsha Ellen asked herself after spending years as a teen on the streets and addicted to cocaine. "I was staring death in the face and I was petrified."
But Marsha Ellen is a survivor. A survivor of the same kind of violence she wants to prevent young girls from experiencing. Now, an honours graduate from the University of Western Ontario, she counsels young girls at risk of or involved in prostitution at the YWCA Safe Haven.
"It’s my life’s mission to tell my story and cultivate dreams. Many of these girls have been raped or beaten their entire lives. They’re worried about what they’re going to eat, where they’re going to sleep. They aren’t equipped to think about their future, let alone dream.
There’s a sparkle in Marsha Ellen’s eye when she talks about the girls at YWCA Safe Haven. "The girls here are so amazing. I just want people to know that and no one has taken the time to get to know them."
She tells the story of one young girl, who got up in the middle of the night. "I was working the night shift and one client could not sleep. She was anxious and pacing around. So I walked into the kitchen and made her a sandwich and a glass of milk. And when I gave it to her, she just looked at me and tears fell down her cheek. What’s wrong, I asked. And she said ‘no one’s ever made me a sandwich before.’ It just blew me away. Something so simple... but it meant so much to her."
And that’s exactly the kind of warmth and support Marsha Ellen gives the girls. "I think they can relate to me because I am open and honest. A lot of people are intimidated working with these girls. But for me, it’s like looking in the mirror."
"There is life after abuse," Marsha Ellen adds. "Working with these young girls has sparked my inner fire even more to help raise awareness of violence."
Terence Stone, Child Counselor, YWCA Sheriff King Home
"My outlook on children is to see them as always surprising, wonderful, blooming beings that constantly leave me in a state of awe," says Sheriff King Home’s child counselor, Terence Stone on how working at the YWCA emergency shelter has changed his viewpoint towards children. His main role is to speak the truth about gender power relationships that have denied women and children of their rights and full participation in the world. "I believe very deeply in the need to stop thinking of children as property and to see ourselves – parents and caregivers – as privileged nurturers who help children grow from the inside out, rather than the outside in," said Terence.
Terence finds that counselling children can be very humbling. "Being so emotionally close to all the terrible things they have experienced is always difficult and often overwhelming," said Terence. "But with support they survive and thrive, and I’m lucky enough to witness that progress."
As a male working at the YWCA, Terence has gained a newfound respect for women. "I’m intensely aware now, of the privileges I was born into just by being male. Through my work and the attitudes that I’ve challenged and changed in myself, I appreciate being able to support equality at complex levels."
Gary Gibbens, Manager, Adult Counselling, YWCA Sheriff King Home
"We’re all human beings just trying to struggle through survival," says Gary Gibbens, manager of adult counseling programs at the YWCA Sheriff King Home for the past six years. Gary counsels up to 17 groups a week of men and women involved in domestic violence. His experiences at the YWCA have helped him grow to understand himself better. "I’ve learned a lot about handling my own life, and my outlook has definitely changed."
"What I find most amazing about my job is the number of clients that come to me for help. I feel privileged, in a lot of ways, to work in the field of domestic violence where there are so few male counselors in the field. It means my peers have come to accept that I am a man who can be trusted by abused and battered women."
Gary feels honoured to be part of the YWCA’s domestic violence programs. "It can be taxing to work with women suffering from years of domestic violence and abuse," said Gary. "But it’s also gratifying when you know you are helping them overcome these devastating effects and moving to make positive change in their lives."
Grit McCreath, Past President, YWCA Board of Directors
"The YWCA has been in my blood since I was a little girl," says Grit McCreath, past president of the YWCA Board of Directors. "I remember my parents taking ESL classes at the YWCA after emigrating here from Europe."
Grit went on to spend 32 years as an educator before getting more personally involved with the YWCA Board of Directors. "I used to send young, troubled girls to the YWCA for help and support all the time. I once drove around looking for a student who had skipped class because I knew she was on the streets. Years later I ran into her at the YWCA’s residence, Mary Dover House, where she was finally off the streets and getting support. She showed me the business card I gave her with my home phone number on it. She had carried it with her everywhere she went."
Grit knows just how important it is for the community to make a contribution at whatever level they can. "Whether it’s by donations of money, services or other resources, every little bit counts in making a difference to over 40,000 Calgary women and children," says Grit.
"I love all the people at the YWCA. The dedicated staff. The tireless volunteers. The grateful clients," says Grit. "It’s all about mentoring each other. I think it’s our duty to help women in our community reach a higher level of equity, inclusiveness, and security in their lives. It’s our duty to support the YWCA’s work."
Carolyn Goard, Director of Integrated Services, YWCA of Calgary
"What first attracted me to the YWCA was the fact that women’s issues are front and centre. We make no apologies for that," says Carolyn Goard, Director of Integrated Services. "But we also focus on all members of the family—women, children and men--regardless of the role they played in domestic violence. "In terms of gender adequacy, men and women must learn to work together to reduce violence."
Carolyn comes from a diverse background. She once was a probation officer in Edmonton and spent years as a clinical psychologist before coming to the YWCA as co-director of domestic violence programs. "As a program administrator, it is my responsibility to ensure the services we offer are really making a difference in the lives of our clients. The YWCA has become much more sophisticated over the years in program development and evaluation, which means we focus on both qualitative and quantitative research. We are accountable to our funders, our clients, and the community."
Carol Rix, Coordinator, YWCA Canadian Employment Skills
"Many of our immigrants, even engineers who were successful in their own countries, find it difficult to find viable employment in Canada," says Carol Rix, coordinator for the YWCA Canadian Employment Skills (CES) program. "They lack Canadian work experience, but more importantly, they lack an understanding of the Canadian workplace culture."
"Imagine a young woman immigrating here from China, where the norm is to avoid direct eye contact and keep their head down, particularly among men. Now imagine this same young woman in a job interview with an Oil and Gas Company in Calgary. Her lack of eye contact would likely be viewed as a lack of interest in the job."
"We’re not asking them to change cultures," adds Carol. "We’re asking them to adapt to Canadian culture. There’s a big difference."
With an 80 per cent success rate overall, Carol always sees her students succeed very quickly. "Once they complete the program, many doors open for them in the Calgary workplace."
The YWCA is committed to removing barriers for new Canadians through our language and employment programs. |
